The teacher opens by considering people whose lives are so rough that they welcome death. This chapter is heavy on reflections of the human experience, less so offering comforting words. So if you’re down in the dumps, read this another day because the good comes later. He even concludes that those who have not been born are the lucky ones, since they are spared awareness of the misery of life. The tears of the oppressed can refer to those belonging to widows, orphans, and outsiders, as those groups are often referenced in the Bible as being in need of support since they tend to be preyed upon in their vulnerability. God does not want us to be opportunist predators, but many people miss that message and bleed the weak dry for another minor advantage. In this case, not only are they alone and being abused, they lack even someone to comfort them in their suffering. Neighbors, church, or society, no one was there to support them. The power is in the hands of the oppressors and there’s no higher earthly power to appeal to so it can be stopped. There is no comforter. The suffering man is on his own.

We can feel the parallels today as we struggle against uncaring employers and corrupt politicians. In our day to day lives, we find ourselves subject to the torment or negligence of people we ought to trust and to whom we are obligated to show some loyalty and the avenues to resolve this aren’t real. We’re told we can go to HR or write our representative, but we’re too small and they’re too big and nothing changes. Nothing ever changes and you stop even trying to use the tools to improve things as you no longer have faith in them and are confident they just exist to placate you. While maybe you personally haven’t experienced the desire to have never been born, I bet everyone has heard someone say “I could never bring a child into this world”. Same instinct. The world is so abusive, it’s better to not exist at all. This feeling isn’t new. People have longed for an escape from their suffering for as long as people have existed.

Abruptly leaving this topic, he comes back to the labor we do on earth and sees that the work we do and the success we find is often driven by envy. We chase prestige and wealth as we compare ourselves to our neighbors. Working a 60 hour week because we think a woman won’t be interested if we don’t have a 6 figure income or grinding away to afford that nice car that will finally bring us happiness because it symbolizes we made it–this is folly. On the other hand, trying to fill the void with wealth may be bad, but laziness is no better. You can’t be so detached from the material that you accomplish nothing and can’t even feed yourself. It’s about balance and not being tugged in one direction by anxiety and envy or the other by apathy. I found this in another study: As Nancy Wilson talks about in her book, Learning Contentment, “So much of discontent is made up of not wanting what we do have, and wanting what we don’t have. Contentment eliminates both these problems. We are satisfied with all that we have, and we do not daydream and long for things we don’t have, especially those things that already belong to someone else.”

He especially highlights the vanity of doing this when you’re alone. Who are you tormenting yourself for? It’s better to find someone you care for and work together. This can be a spouse or other family member but even your online Christian contacts can uplift you and you them. Hoarding wealth and possessions won’t fill the hole but having a godly community can. It may sound harsh, but being alone in this world is a choice. It can be hard to find good, deep, sincere friends or a lifelong partner, but there are social connections everywhere if you’re willing to be a little flexible and manage your expectations. Trust me that you’d rather have 2 less than ideal acquaintances than nothing at all. A lot of people I speak to who express loneliness (myself included at one time) have shut themselves inside the top of a tower away from the world and don’t understand that no one is coming to save them. You have to climb down, make yourself vulnerable, lower your expectations, and give people a chance. “Pity the one who falls without another to help him up”. With friendship, don’t make perfect the enemy of the good. Everyone is flawed and learning to live with them is important and will teach you gratitude when you realize how much help they can be when you’re down. Charles Spurgeon once wrote, “I have heard of some good old woman in a cottage, who had nothing but a piece of bread and a little water. Lifting up her hands, she said as a blessing, ‘What! All this, and Christ too?’”